Thursday, September 07, 2006

That Blair Statement in Full

Gulp.
Furrow brow.
Y'know
Best interests.
Sigh.
No date.
Take onion out of pocket.
On and on and on.
F**** you Gordon.
Determined look.
The Labour Party can go **** itself.
I just want to be the Prime Minister of People's hearts.

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

He must have had an assurance that Gordon will buy this, but I can't imagine why he would.

Very keen to see if this damps down the flames this afternoon, or simply opens the fuel can a bit further.

Anonymous said...

When did Gordon lose his balls? Was it when Ed left to be an MP or when he bottled his latest chance to finish Blair?

Anonymous said...

Nicely summarised, Iain.

3-2 to Blair, in extra time.

Result never in doubt.

Brown stuffed again.

Anonymous said...

I reckon its still a feet first scenario for Tone's departure. It also proved that Gordo the Scowl, creature of the shadows that he is, in the end lacked the cohones to achieve what would have been the real result: a defined (and early)departure date. This is a poor augur for the future leadership of the UK, but great news for the conservatives if they handle it properly. Labour: Unable to manage the country, unable to deliver an effective foreign policy and now, unable to speak or think clearly about their own future.

The Hitch said...

It was wonderful,
The man is cracked, note that he didnt say he wasnt going to be prime minister this next year just not party leader.
No wonder Brown was laughing in those photos this morning, he knows Blair is insane and the prize will be his very soon.
Another take on it could be hat Blair is going to play the insanity card when arrested and charged for corruption and war crimes.

Tapestry said...

The media seem neutral. Until they turn nasty, Blair can make promises til the cows come home.

Anonymous said...

So it's his last Labor (I use the Americanized spelling to denote where TB's allegiances lay) conference, last TUC conference.
But we did not hear him say it was going to be his last year as prime minister.
I think I can hear a gnashing of teeth coming from north of the border.
But who had to leave by the tradesman's entrance with his tail between his legs yesterday?

Anonymous said...

*gulp*
He was the People's Prime Minister.
*pause for soundbite to sink in*

Anonymous said...

The media are cowards.

They haven't really challenged any of the ludicrous claims made by labour.

Mandate? My arse.

Coup? Only in Blairs delusions.

The country aren't interested? Drivel. Its the issue of the day and will continue to dominate discussion in workplaces and pubs throughout the land.

Its a shame this little group won't face the public so we can put this to them. Its clear the press won't.

So how is this afternoon going to progress? Would anyone care to speculate?

Carl

Man in a Shed said...

Have you seen Brown's prenouncements ( as reported by the BBC ) - in short I'll support Blair while he does the right thing for the country ( aka resigning and making Gordon PM ).

ThunderDragon said...

Iain, you cut right through Blair's waffle and to what he was REALLY saying! sqrhvv

Prodicus said...

Five Live reporter (forget who) said this afternoon that there was a terrific shouting match in No 10 last night between Gordo and Tone.

Doug Henderson (arch-Brownite) nailed his wossname to the mast minutes after the Blair statement: *he* is not satisfied, so effectively announcing the next round of the battle.

Brown's statement lacked something, don't you think? Am I the only one who heard a veiled threat therein? 'You're on parole', sort of thing?

Anonymous said...

Spot on Iain!! you summed it up correctly. Slippery Sid Blair is still at it and long may it last because he is destroying this Government.Is it deliberate??

Anonymous said...

Yeah, well, Diana was "the People's Princess" and she's dead, too.

Anonymous said...

We can hear the fat lady humming in the background. After this feeble announcement by Blair the Brownites will move in for the kill. Khalid Mahmood MP (ex-Blairite, now Browny - not literally and I'm asian before the thought police and pc brigade jump on me (or even Iain Dale)!!)to be the stalking horse after party conference? That way he redeems himself with the Muslims for supporting Blair on Iraq etc and guarantees himself a cushy number with Brown in charge.

Go on Mahmood, go for the kill, you'll be the hero in the Muslim lands from Birmingham to Ramallah if you take him out. Remember you heard it here first when this happens.

PS. Iain, can you pass this message onto ex uber loyal Blairite Mahmood.

Anonymous said...

Oh, no! Tony's still talking about "moving on"??? How hysterical! Even Clinton abandoned this phrase two or three years ago. Poor old Tony. Trite as ever.

Has he mentioned Euan yet? Or maybe Fat Cher can go on TV and say, with a sob, that Tony wants to "move on" (to a tax haven) for the sake of Euan and the children.

God,this is so much fun. I'm sure productivity in Britain and among the expats who are following it has cratered over the last three days.

Anonymous said...

In retrospect I dunno why anyone expected anything different.

We already knew that none of this bunch has the slightest sense of shame, of what is fitting, of integrity, of honesty, of tradition or of what used to be called honour.

All that matters to them is themselves. Everything else and everybody else can be conned, fixed, spun, manipulated, lied to and used. The governance of the country is merely a way of scoring points in the the vanity stakes. This is what NuLabour is in essence - lust for power for its own sake, envy, spite all while free-loading on the public tit. God, what a cess-pit of slimy shits. All of them. Without exception.

Anonymous said...

bt - I agree with every word you wrote. I would only demur about "why would anyone have expected any different?". You mean, someone did?

Anonymous said...

Calm down dears!

We acknowledge that there is a problem (sob), I cannot as one person (sob) control the whole world, YET, (sob).

My dear friends signatures appended forthwith, and below, (sob)engrossed below (sob), affirm that we should draw a line under this nonsense and be allowed to carry on, all of us (sob).

We so swear, and pomise not to do it again - whatever it was you didn't like.

A. Bliar.

Harold A. Shipman.

Ian Huntley.

Harvey Horley Crippen.

A. Schikkelgruber.

H. 'Laughing boy' Himmler.

'Uncle' Joe Stalin.
et al.

We love you really!!

Anonymous said...

All that matters to them is themselves. ..... God, what a cess-pit of slimy shits. All of them. Without exception.

bt, I think you have just define 'politician'. Of any and everyparty.

It goes with the job. Expect no other, whoever is in power.

There ought to be a way to disqualify from political power anyone who actually wants it. And all lawyers as well, of course.

Anoneumouse said...

You forgot: and we will find Sadams weapons of mass destruction

Anonymous said...

2br02b - You write that there ought to be a way of disqualifying politicians who actually want power.

Thailand used to have such a system, before they joined the modern age of democracy. They used to appoint a monk who had retired to a monastery. This man wanted a quiet, contemplative life and had no interest in power.

But he would do his duty, governing the country (or the area, I can't remember) for a specified period of time, as a kind of penance, and when his time was up, slip back into the monastery with relief.

It was a good system because their wielding of power was selfless and they had their mind firmly fixed on their termination date.

Anonymous said...

That Brown Statement in Full:

Smirk.
I've had questions.
I will support him.
Nod sincerely.
Smirk.
We continue to work together.
Red tie.
Stick tongue into chin.
Intake of breath.
Wash blood off knife.

Anonymous said...

Iain
Well done I think your precis is as good as they get.

As are all of the above comments.

So long as the BBC ant got the BALLS to put the boot in, TB can and very possibly will go on until the next election. The BBC is soft on the Labour movement, and TB in particular. After all the BBC very much helped to put him in power.

They are allowing the Labour party enough rope to hang not only THEIR party but the BBC as well.

Not until the powers that be at the BEEB and number 10 have got their man in position, will the worm even appear to turn. Right now neither of these seem to have any idea who that person is going to be. One thing for sure is it is not Gordon Brown.

Unforeseen and foreseen difficulties have a habbit of happening just when a sharp thinking politician wants them to. Our Tone is often lots of things but obtuse...never.

Anonymous said...

You believe any of this? Then you are as deluded as Gordie. Why should this statement be taken any more at face value than "I intend to serve a full third term" or "Saddam can fire WMDs within 45 minutes"?

He's staying, unless of course Gordie manages to get his act together and actually throw him out, or const. Yates of the Yard achieves this in another manner...

Anonymous said...

Gordon Brown. One eye. No balls.

Did anyone here that beeping noise in the background, usually made by reversing lorries, during Gordon Brown's speech? It was the sound of him backing down.

Anonymous said...

Mr Blair had sure better hope that Peter Kilfoyle MP stays off the fags and takes up a fitness regime.

Two heart-attacks down and right in the 'heart' of Lib Dem land. A hideaous by-election demolition in the last days of his 'great reighn' would put him in the same category as that great labour PM Jim Callaghan.

Crisis...what crisis...?

The Hitch said...

ITV are saying that he will be gone by next year, poor deluded fools, well he may be gone but it will not be at a time of his choosing, like a gambling addict hoping that if he puts his last £1.50 on the lottery tommorow maybe just maybe something will turn up to get him out of his hole.
All sociapaths are the same.

Anonymous said...

I believe the principal player is not yet onstage.

Wait for the knock on the door in Act III and the appearance of Yates of the Yard.

Scipio said...

Did you see Gordon's two smirks/grins in his 'statement'? He is loving every minute of this. Just the kind of quality you need in a prospective MP.

A curse on both their houses.

Anonymous said...

It's a pity Steve Irwin has died, he would have recognised the crocodile tears Blair was shedding in his apology.

Anonymous said...

Verity - one could hope. In the old days there would have been soundings, and party patriarchs forcing a resolution. Or maybe a pointed hint, like a revolver on his study desk.

2br02b - Shh! Don't say it too loudly. You'll hurt Iain's feelings. Even if it is the truth.

Channel 4 News tonight mentioned "Ministers poised to resign."
Trouble is, it won't be Prescott, Reed, Hewitt, Brown, Darling, Jowell, Armstrong, Hain, Beckett ..... complete the list according to personal inclination. Should keep the pot boiling, though.

Anonymous said...

Blair might not live in the real world, but even he can't escape from problem neighbours.

Anonymous said...

So Gordon's got a verbal pledge from Tony in public - big deal! As Sam Goldwyn said: "A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on."
It will end in tears. There were headlines today: "Vicar's retirement tea party ends in a punch-up." "Private Eye" refers to TB as the vicar, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

I think that the main thing driving Gordon to become PM, is that that way he will be in control of who is the next Chancellor. Any other outcome could put an outsider in the treasury, any straight sort of guy, seeing Gordons books and how he has been cooking them for the past nine years would be a disaster for Gordon. This is why he does not dare to risk loosing his job, even temporarily. It is PM or nothing for Gordon, the poor man must have nightmares over being exposed.

If anyone thinks this is far fetched, just consider how they have lied about everything else. This business over Blair is fun but I bet it will be better further down the line when Gordon the moron gets his accounting practices properly scrutinised.

Anonymous said...

About that "furrowed brow" - did anyone else notice that, maybe by a strange trick of the light, the lines reaching out from between his eyebrows up to his forehead were spelling out a very large letter "W"?

What could it mean?

Anonymous said...

I hate to admit it but when looking at the alternatives and the amount of time left before an election has to be run that will demuppetify the government, TB is unfortunatly the UK's best bet.

My money is on that he'll stay on to the bitter end at the ballotbox.

Besides that, he knows where all the bodies are buried...

Besides that, the UK never voted Labour -- they voted TB.

Anonymous said...

iain, thats the best post youve EVER made. totally spot on. i have a feeling you may have drafted this before he even spoke. :)

Anonymous said...

Have to hand it to you Iain anyone who can attract so many groupies to leave comments about such a complete non event deserves respect. (Whoops does this make me a groupie as well?)
Surely nobody expected Blair to say anything other than nothing and the media frenzy just meant hours of unmitigated drivel, speculation, waffle and boredom.
Blair won't last until christmas because today showed that he has completely lost the plot and the party won't stand for any more of his arrogant cult of the personality.

Anonymous said...

pleased you left the **** in Iain ..My 81 year old Mum reads your blog regularly and thinks its great ..but there is only so much that i'm prepared to explain :)

Anonymous said...

Excellent post and totally spot on. I was pissing myself laughing at him this afternoon. The day I've waited for since May 1997 is finally drawing nigh! Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out Blair!

Anonymous said...

Without doubt Iain this is one of the best posts you have ever made. It was utterly correct. I must say I was pis*ing myself laughing at him trying to think of the words to say. His tacless swipe at the TUC and the fact that the words nearly choked him showed just how embittered he has become.

The day I've waited for since that dreadful rally with Kinnock and he bopping to D:Ream in 1997 is finally drawing nigh.

Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out Yo Blair!

Anonymous said...

That Gordon has got loads of charisma hasn't he?

Anonymous said...

bt - I would enjoy the revolver on the study desk idea, but come, come! Blair wouldn't know how to pick up a revolver, never mind fire one! He's a wimp. He'd be frightened of picking up a gun. What a cheap little jerk he is.

Anonymous said...

If I was tony I would be thoroughly pissed off with the traitorous little shits who signed the letters and especially with the bigoted twat in No11 who seems to be orchestrating the whole thing.

If tony wants to go out with a bang and a cheer why doesn't he sack the enemy next door and remove the whip from him. Go the whole hog, cross the floor of the house and then ask the Queen to dissolve parliament.

At last it would be more interesting than watching two massive egos play handbags with each other.

A constitutional crisis a day keeps Gordon away

Anonymous said...

They piss me off so much with their squabbles. It is all they bother about - their futures, while every day far, far better men die in the shitholes of Iraq and Afghanistan. Dying for the poodle and the wimp.
Bastards! Bastards! Bastards!
Sorry for swearing on your blog Iain but I'm so angry

Anonymous said...

Red Mist
If TB gos it will because the Labour Party have finally found an MP with a personality worth haveing a cult about. As yet they have none. Which is why we still have Tony Blair.

One or two % points one way or another has never been a good reason to ditch a leader. Gordon Brown has no power and can say nothing tempting to marginaly seated back benchers that will ease their depresion.

About time Labour stopped thinking about the election of a new prime minister, and started thinking about the election of the next leader or the opposition.

The job will last much longer, and will be the most important leader they have ever elected. He will be tasked with saving the Labour party from compleat destruction.

Anonymous said...

The Rt. Hon. (Why are they allowed to call themselves this when they are neither right nor honourable?) Carlos Antonio Bliar cannot quit.

He and his family are boracic! - (boracic lint = skint)

Anonymous said...

garypowell said...
Red Mist
If TB gos it will because the Labour Party have finally found an MP with a personality worth haveing a cult about. As yet they have none. Which is why we still have Tony Blair.

Surely Gary NuLab have a government full of cults to choose from?

Anonymous said...

What a let down yesterdays announcement by Tony Blair was. I am more than happy for him to stay in charge for sometime as it's doing us a huge favour. DC must be delighted